Neverland Episodes

The Ultimate Truth- A fiction story

2010-12-13T03:02:00.001-08:00

Riya, a 24 year old, happy go lucky, strong girl. She stands for the right, a rebel by nature. She loves from the guts and hates from the heart. Ironically, hate is a very harsh word; she can’t hate anyone but abide by ‘ignorance is the bliss’.
Her family looks up to her and feels sky high. Sometimes, so high, a pain in the neck to be approached or even cared about.
Life so far has been far away from her. Her, to die for smile, can make you believe what she wants you to but trust her when she says that looks can be deceiving.

I will narrate this story in her words

For a good little span that I have lived, I have strongly believed that, we are born for a reason and are unaware. It is a lifetime’s quest to search for the reason of being and be at it or just live with the rest of the world, dragged and dropped by the travelers around.
To gain that reason behind existence I have tried experimenting with jobs, partners etc but could not find the ultimate truth.
The days of 24years, ideally the most memorable ones have been in adoring me that no one else could. Wannabe friends, wannabe partners and tangled parents surrounded me.

Parents are those beings to whom kids look up to. They want to be like them, I don’t.
My parents are different their love is so deep that its traces can be found on the depth of their wounds. Their passion is so strong that their strength can be measured in the broken glass pieces on the floor.
To cut the roots of their problem they got so involved in their created mess that they forgot about the last trace of their existence, me.

Hence, to get their attention back, I invented a plan. A plan I have worked on for years but lacked courage to execute the same.

One winter mid-night, daddy comes home, drunk and mommy, like a wounded Tiger waits to attack. 'Keep the door of your room open incase...' she says. I am armed like a warrior to give my best shot if things get out of control. I hid all the belts, Spatula’s, Lighters etc
It was routine though but now I dare to stand in their way to stop it once and for all.

I was planning on my strategy. A strategy that will get the drunk in consciousness and angry in calmness.

Daddy bang opens the door and mommy shivers. His abuses can make you deaf and she responds. They get in the battle armed with metal and start the war. I witness helpless cries and fumes of anger in the air. I lay down my strategy.

'Mom Dad please don’t fight, I need your help, I am on drugs, please send me to a rehab or I may kill myself'

Silence takes over the room and I have a smirk on my face soon taken over by a warm gush on my cheek.
The investigation began. They asked me What I doped on, How it started, Who was involved and What went wrong in my mind to undertake such cruelty. I fumbled and mumbled on answers about things that I did not have a clue. The rest of the days were followed by a Rehab hunt.

Today I am lying on my Rehab bed and narrating the incident to my clueless friend. The rehab can’t find a trace of drug, because I never did it. However, the vacation and a change in the schedule, mine as well as parents, was very much needed.

People call me crazy, wild child, freak, bad girl but dude this weirdo did some good shit.

...and they never fought again

Paper Doll

2010-12-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

A beautiful doll house I built with you,
With perception panes and filter grills,
The curtains of protection and a floor of warmth,
And a bed of paper that pricks all night long;

The hundreds and thousands you cuddle and sleep,
The jingling sound that makes me weak;

I wake up with tears of metal coins,
You bank them all, an act of purloins;

I crumble and cry, wet than dry,
You look after the doll house, ignoring a sigh;

The paper doll tears apart, up in the sky like an art,
You run behind the paper doll, she sweeps through the wind, never to recall;

The empty doll house will haunt you than, all the paper invested will make you bend,
You shall never rise up again, as the paper doll won’t be around in your bitter end.

My Tranquilizer

2010-06-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

The darkness of the night drowns me in fears,
Memoirs of thee explodes me in tears;
I raise a hand to be rescued and loved,
Thee pulls me out to be displayed and served;
I die every night to be loved another day,
I surrender to another dusk to be left betrayed;
My wings are on fire, I shall never fly,
I love the burning sensation, it makes me laugh and it makes me cry;
I rise another dawn to be loved by another pair of arms,
I am blinded by thee's love that I can feel the warmth;
I await for my savior to pull me back to life,
The taste of his blood cuts me like a knife;
Oh, my love! I scream in pain,
He replies, you are all my efforts in vain;
I shatter on the ground like a glass fragile,
The flame takes me in a state of tranquil.
The darkness of the night drowns me in fears,
Memoirs of thee explodes me...

Bucket full of tears

2010-06-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

On a damp night I wrote a song,
of the moon and the monsoon walking along;
from my bed in the caged palace I glared,
they dropped a tear on to my head.
dreading of the pitch black I cuddled in the plastic roll,
when the thundered night sent shivers down my soul;
the creek in the backyard knocked on the fencing wall,
escaping the electrifying dark water was a close call.
the jingling of the rodents fell in my ears,
the drowning in the coffin left my life in fears;
nine years later I stepped on new heights,
it didn't miss a chance to drop me in the darkness of the fortune fight.
I reincarnated in to a warrior princess,
yet the memory of the monster house streams an access,
waking me, petrified.

Metalized

2010-03-30T02:34:00.000-07:00

He comes from the forbidden land,
With marks of jagged knife on his hand.

Lungs smoked up in ashes ,
Stone-cold attitude that clashes.

Rough long hair that can scrape your fingers,
The smell of which forever lingers.

Sparkling smile that can make you bleed.
Tabooed temptations that can make you plead.

Hoarse voice that slips like Velvet in your ears,
Foggy eyes coated with frozen tears.

Satan’s head rotates in all directions,
Heavenly angel bestows affection.

Beyond the fence, I stand and dread
He feeds me on brutality, blood (wine) and bread (flesh),
Leaving me…Metalized.

Painfully sensual

2010-01-11T23:48:00.000-08:00

It was getting as deep and annoying as it could in the relationship. The pain you feel when you work-out with heavy weights, each strand of your hair hurts with the pleasure of getting in shape. After a while of being in a relationship, you feel like a fool who fell for the fouls of your partner when he was glittering new.
He was a gift sent only for me and no one to share with for the rest of eternity. Eternity wasn’t far away till the charisma was dusted with the Local train travel, Jhunka-bhakar lunch and I am broke this month syndrome. Friends said that the ‘Spark’ is lost after a couple of years but I found it diminishing with each fight each day. Till the day, I met him after a brutal fight, with no intentions to sort things out; we virtually tried with attempts in vain and travelled home together in a local train.

I was waiting at the station with him. The ladies compartment passed by and I was confused on the chaotic platform to get in the same train or leave it. He was all geared to barge in the Gents compartment and I sheepishly followed his lead. He made me rest on the bars near the entrance. As the train started the wind blew my hair and I met his gaze. We immediately looked in different directions. For a few stations I was embarrassed to look up at him. He touched my forehead to check if I was well. The warm touch sent shivers down the spine of my cold body. My eyes were glued to the moving ground with 10billion random thoughts running wild in my head. Suddenly, I felt a jerk. The train halt with the crowd over him. I felt his warm chest on me, I skipped a beat. Swiftly, to get a grip, he holds the bar behind my neck. With the train in motion, I feel his arm brushing gently on my neck, so soothing so caressing. It was herb gently curing my wounds. I adjusted myself to rest on his arm and closed my eyes. I couldn’t hear a chirp through my voyage to dreamland. The chaotic compartment calmed in a mystical way to get us together. It was so beautiful. After a while, I felt his hands in motion. He rolled his resting arm around my shoulder with his finger tips tracing them. Each touch made me crave for some more. He moved closer and I looked up in his eyes. The divine burning gold. I felt a sudden rush of emotions running through my nerves, I had goose bumps. I wanted to cry, laugh, hold him, and kiss him at the very same moment. It was just so beautiful. The train jerked again and I heard him making an attempt to ignite a conversation to get out of the embarrassment. The hesitation was as noticeable as for the first time he tried to talk to me. The same boyish features in a man I loved. As he spoke, I don’t remember what was it, but I tried to stay in my senses as much as I could. I replied with some-‘hmmm’, ‘aha’ and ‘ok’. I could easily notice with each word he was trying to look at my face from the corner of his eyes as the wind blew my hair. Slowly he removed his rolled arm and walked ahead of me. My savoir, the way he walked ahead of me during Iron Maiden Gig. I gathered my wit to talk to him. I was wondering if this is the same guy I love from the past 2yrs. I heartily wanted him to drop me home but practically that will be stupid. Hence I played with my words and asked him not to get down of the train for me. He simply said, ‘You’re mad o wat, I am not getting down!”. Ouch!!! That hurt.

I got down of the train and turned around to look at him and wave him goodbye at midnight with all my wittiest emoticons. The train didn’t start. Now it was turning to be awkward. He kept whispering and I could read his perfectly shaped pink lips ‘go home’. I interpret it the way I wanted, ‘stay here’. The train blew a horn and was set in motion, he smiled at me. Ooh the melting smile. I couldn’t resist and smiled back, attitude maintained. I ran to the stairs to catch a last glimpse, waiting and wanting him to turn. He did not.

Love thy admirer

2009-12-22T00:45:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered, while crossing a road with thousand other species like you, why are you barged in by random guys?
You stand at the bus stop, surrounded by a thin air of suspicion generated by the group of guys whistling and passing comments at you, making your brains rack to all sorts of possibilities that you might face if any one of them makes a move towards you.
In a holy place, a cute guy seems to pray too long with one eye open to get a glance of you.
A katta-wala (a small stall) of a tea or cigi shop staring at you when you ask for one.
Or even the aunties stare at you in a ladies compartment considering your mere attempts to look good and grumbling amongst themselves.

There’s nothing to worry about ‘honey’, a simple justification would be that “they all love ya”.
According to recent censes report in Mumbai, there are about 900 females per 1000 males, as they lack our species, by the time we get extinct, they all wanna make a good fortune out of us.

There’s no reason to float on anger boat for such issues and act like Phulan Devi to destroy masculine ones. Incase of their emergency, circumstances get on your nerves and you bombard the poor chap, collecting a pretty good crowd around you like a celebrity stunt, you will just end-up with more big-mouths, popped out eyes and sniffy noses following you wherever you go.

All you gotta do girl, is to relax! A cold stare would rather work, something like Aishwarya Rai zonked look, leaving all those bald nutshells behind towards one more step to kismet. Till the interaction, though irritating, is healthy, it’s fine!
If they try to get cheesy, slap the morons or give a ‘Dhamki’ of your long lost relative who is a cop and call from your mobile with a little attitude, till the guy melts saying,
“Sorry sister” and walks off. Incase of emergency dial your nearest police station or Woman emergency number 104. For easy access to save your ass, call a friend who resides in the locality of assault scene. If none of the above is possible, run for your freaking life to the nearest crowded place.

Don’t be a fool by making a mistake with a cute chap, trying hard to get your attention, face it girl and start a conversation, all men ain’t the same.

Till then, be happy to get all that attention.

Demolition of my private womb!

2009-10-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

Like a seed she planted me in the barren land,
With no hopes of fertilization till the end.
A year passed by with mere interruption,
I still evolved out of dissatisfaction.
With whines of life’s cruelty ringing in my head,
My heart was pumping with beats almost dead.
Growing was a part of my chore,
But my expectations from life were a lot more.
At adolescence I made a decision,
To protect my private womb from an incision.
For long my attempts went in vain,
Its brutal scars were marked with blood and pain.
For last, I tried my bit to save the motherland,
However, the hour- glass descended from my hand.
My private womb was demolished,
With no traces of it to re-establish.
I miss my motherland; I miss the place where I came in to existence,
I miss my private womb!

Tell me your dreams...

2009-07-13T03:39:00.000-07:00

At midnight, when the world turned its back on me and everything seemed dark, I saw an image sitting, staring with questionable eyes. I looked at her petrified, trying to scream but couldn’t make a noise. I stared back at her to seek information on who she was and what she wanted. She spoke to me saying that she was my saviour, she would help me fight with all the troubles and tribulations that I would ever encounter in my life.

Since then, every night she would come to my house. She sat on the refrigerator top staring at me in despair. Sometimes I could hear her crying that would leave my hair stand on its end. One day, I gathered courage and asked her name, she said I am a part of you, name it as you like it...I called her Meenu.

As years passed by Meenu started coming everywhere I went, she encouraged me to do things I couldn’t think of doing like Singing, Dancing and Talking to people.
I developed a whole new persona, I was angry when Meenu was angry, sometimes she made me do evil things like hitting people, abusing them and lots more. I started developing a grudge against people who were at any point in time bad to me. The grudge was not erasable it was persistent for years to such an extent that I couldn’t stand a sight of them, I would get hyper, yelling my guts out, sobbing for ours till Meenu was calm.
As I grew older, I and Meenu spoke less. After a few years, I couldn’t remember who she was until one day.

I was reading Sidney Sheldon’s Tell me your dreams...
It’s a story of a girl- Ashley Patterson, who suffers from MPD (Multi Personality Disorder). Her hatred had evolved in a character named ‘Toni Prescott’, a bold girl, who was uncontrollable to an extend that she started murdering people whom she disliked.
On the other hand was ‘Allete Peters’ a timid girl, who loved to paint and would end up listening to ‘Toni’ when her painting was disliked, again murdering people.

When I read the book, I found a connect of the characters with my life. Initially, I was Allete, a timid girl, who had aspirations to do a lot of creative things but she couldn’t, all she needed was a little push. Until one day, at the age of 10, she was pressurised to such an extent that she couldn’t bear, giving birth to ‘Toni’. Since then there have been certain people I dislike but I don’t know why. I get hyper over little things and end up thinking of all possible ways of making it bad for the ones who hurt me. Eventually, all this subsided by the time I was in college until...

One day, one of my talks were leaked and I couldn’t take the pressure. I was asked to undergo rituals that would get me out of the situation, I wanted to be in. My life was back on track, a track I had never chosen. This created hatred in me against the ones who cursed my existence and since then the grudge has spread like an epidemic. Toni was back.

Today, Allete helps me pursue my interest and control Toni. But there are times Toni comes back and handles the situation either getting me out of it or worsening it.

Everyone has something they are inspired from in their lives. Reading inspires me.
The above article is fictional and I am sane. :P
I no-longer have imaginary friends just a thought I jotted, hope you like it. :)

I don't want to grow up!

2009-06-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

It’s a lovely Friday morning with traces of monsoon in the air. Recalling how I use to enjoy first rain a few years back.

This year’s first rain was also an experience in itself. I was working at Cuffe Parade, a place that has a view of the Arabian. It was blazing hot on a early May evening that even a slightest idea of stepping out of the office for a break was a strict ‘No No’. Suddenly, the clouds gather around the shore and it starts drizzling. I heard the tap of the rain water on the roof and ran towards the window. It was like greeting a lover after he returns from a voyage. The shiny road under the dim street lights on the busy Colaba Causeway was a lovely sight. It was all calm and cold, just the way I like it.

On my way back home, I came across a few people having a thespian discussion about Political scenario of our country, the condition of the roads, the weather, the hygiene and finally the youth. It was more or less grumbling then a discussion. I wondered if these people were ever young. They have lost it, the innocence is gone.

So today I am on a quest to make all the readers of my blog realize that it’s about time to gain happiness even in the minute things to win it back and lead a happy life.
I am listing down the things I still Love to do which form a part of my innocence, if you have any to jot down, comment on the blog and I shall Add it...

1- I can still doze with if mum sings a lullaby
2- I still jump from the last step of a ladder
3- I still stop the car to look at the crackers in the sky
4- I still remember the lyrics of Barbie Girl by Aqua
5-I can still dance Macarena
6-I still go candy shopping and sip of Rs.1 Pepsi
7- I still chew pencil or pen top while I am thinking
8-I still hold soap like a mic while bathing and sing stupid tunes (My band shouldn’t know this ;P)
9-I still prefer Maggi noodles to pasta
10-Lastly, I still love to get wet in the rain.

Contributions by Namzy-
1-She still has a lots of crushes (I hope your bf is not reading this :P)
2-We still love bunking work like old times of bunking college
3-We still have our SLAM books preserved

Funny Things

2009-05-04T02:33:00.000-07:00

I believe everyone in this world has a funny bone which is forbidden to be mentioned yet implemented at every stage in your lifestyle.
If you are a regular reader of my blog or have just visited, you could surf through my old articles and notice that fun element has been a vital part of every article even in the most serious situations to reduce the pressure.

Well, here I am today, listing the weirdest things that I am composed of as a person.
Read on...

a- I get the best ideas in the middle of the night and I forget all about it in the morning
b- I am the worst bathroom singer and my neighbours can bet all their money on it, yet I sing for a band
c- I love to bite my nails because they still taste of the food I last ate
d- I think my sense of smell is almost lost
e- I can watch Friends longer than South park
f- I have done a research on people’s eyebrows and its effects on their overall personality
g-I write blogs when I am waiting for the client in the board room
h- People think that I have a model walk, but that’s the bloody crooked way I walk
i- I can sleep with open eyes
j-I feel bad when someone litters, wastes water or doesn’t recycle
k- I can sit quite for a long time without even a minute thought in my head, it’s like being dumb and I love it as it relaxes my brain
l- I love to eat sour and pungent food more than salty and spicy
m- I can gulp down 4 trays of ice-cube on a lazy afternoon
n- I have watched Appu Raja, Raat and Andaaz Apna Apna almost 40 times
o- I have a collection of weird medical articles but never read it
p- I have the shortest mood swings in the history of Mankind, I believe
q-My nose itches everytime I am in a rick

More facts shall be listed as and when I notice it...
Meanwhile, your contributions are welcomed. :)

The Curse...

2009-04-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

I always had an inclination towards Supernatural and Astrology but never relied my life on it for a happy ending. This episode in Neverland focuses on how my loved one took help of what they call Devotional Practices or (Black/White) Magic to help me gain what they want!

Let’s call the main characters of this episode as the Drama King and Drama Queen.
It all began in 2004; I was on seventh heaven and fell straight on my face. I was in love, my first love, as I call it. I thought no one would ever fall for a white skinned, ugly and non-presentable girl like me. And there I was in my sweet 17, experiencing life outside the typical boundaries created by the Drama Queen and the King in the kingdom of Neverland. I wanted to jot down every single experience before it perished. So, I began to write a dairy. Whilst I geared towards the climax, I was caught within 3months and the Drama began.

As the butcher feeds the prey before slaughtering, the Drama Queen cooked a wholesome meal for me, one of the best meals of my life, later cutting me through the midst, dividing me from one of my closest. She made me take unwanted vows burning my hand on a candle devoted to god. She made me fast in the name of god asking me to promise I will never see anyone again unless she was ready. She bitched to me about every single person she met. From there on the curse began, it was very prominent with the way she behaved every time on the topic of the people who were close to me. She hated all of them.
She started fasting for my well-being devoted to innumerable gods and goddesses. She started attending prayer meetings by Yogi’s and Aghori’s. She wanted to rule her territory, she wanted her kingdom to bow before her and be loyal to the core.
If things didn’t turn her way, she made it loud and clear, that her curse shall affect not only the disloyal but the ones who accompanied them. The curse began to grow in her day by day, she turned fanatic and tried to instil all mean things in my and the Kings mind. She lit a fire of hatred and betrayal which shall subside only when her kingdom perishes. But for me, the sweet strings of love were stronger than the strings of hatred. I was disloyal to the Drama Queen. I continued the ritual of surrendering to the love of my life till it began to take over me, body and soul, till I couldn’t tolerate the pain and misery left behind in ashes.

It all calmed down after a few years, the kingdom had no land of their own but the unfair practices continued under the tag of loyalty towards the Drama Queen. The King gave up too, from the time the Yogi had suggested that the kingdom shall destroy and he shall have no heir if he didn’t surrender to the Queen.
Recently, the Drama Queen took us to the Yogi and offered prayers in the name of the lord to curb malpractices and gain a better future. The prayer was solely conducted by me, aimed towards limiting my anger and a unidirectional quest towards my future life partner. Drama Queen displayed my Kundli to all the great Yogi’s to get a varied opinion on how my future would be and what measures can she take to avoid the mishaps. I was touched by her concern until it took over my present for a better future. She got so involved that she took extreme measures to get things done her way.

She tied threads on my hand that were offered to the lord, she also made me pray to the dead to gain their blessings. She made me give nails (metal) as a charity to the Shudras (downtrodden). I think it worked in some way, I found my partner.
He was the most eligible bachelor, prince charming, Hazel eyed -king of hearts. Drama Queen disapproved of him as well and so did the King for the basic reason that the Yogi had suggested not marrying a guy whom I like but the one Queen does. Unfortunately, the Queen likes no one but herself.

I rebelled and opposed every ritual, every prayer and every practice undertaken by the Queen, King and the Yogi, she was fuming. And this time she cursed me, she blamed me for the all the mishaps that had occurred to the kingdom.

I felt pain like never before; it was as if someone so close had let me down merely for a disagreement of the third person. In the light of the moon gushing though the dark clouds in the rain forest, I learnt something about the Queen. She is a fabulous ruler but as she had to give away her youth for the king and the Kingdom she didn’t want me to do the same. May be through unfair practices, she was still seeking the best for my existence and the later. She couldn’t stand a rebel for what is wrong because she was wrong all her life for whatever decisions she made.
It was not me or my Kundli or the Stars far far away jinxed, it was her!

The face of death...

2009-04-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while that I contributed articles to my Blog.
The mere reason being that there were not many incidents that left an impressive impact on my life.

But day before yesterday, I was swept off my feet. I was on the edge of loosing someone I owe my life.

On that evening, I and Tarzan headed to a local restro to celebrate my first deal in a span of 15days at my new organization. I didn’t even bother to inform anyone at home to say I was going to be late and not in for dinner. I was so lost in the essence of the gala time I had, loosing upon the mere thought of someone who is waiting all day for me at home.
Later, I get a call from my Mom asking how long I would take to reach home. I, as always, ignoring her conversation picked up and stated, “Be home in 20mins” and disconnected the line.
She is the same woman who from the mere look in my eyes can narrate the situation I had been through and wipe off my dried tears. I, on the other hand, couldn’t recognize her sorrowful tone.
Suddenly, I get a call from Dad. He asked me to reach home immediately as something had happened to Mom. All this while, I was under an impression that he was at home to take care of her. I was traumatized and tried reaching home ASAP.

On my way home, I had all the random thoughts flowing in my head. All episodes from my past, present and future came to life. I realized, how incomplete my life was without her. I understood that I can’t even take a step without holding her hand on the street till date. I always thought that I had the strength to portray my feelings whenever I wanted. But I was wrong, tears started rolling down my eyes and I couldn’t control myself this time. Recently I had a fight with her, when she found a pack of Cigi’s in my bag. I was not guilty, infact, I fought with her saying she should not fondle with my stuff as I am old enough to take care of myself. I yelled calling her a ‘Jinx’ in my life that took away the sweets in my teens by getting hold on to my dairy and abducted me to express myself freely from there on. There were lots of incidents when I had a lot of issues with my family, which I merely ignored thinking that they were a part my growing up routine with not even a slightest thought of the impact that it had on my family, especially Mom. All the above were like flashbacks of a fool.

I reached home. Mom was on the floor. All red and tears in her eyes. Trying hard to breath. I picked her up and made her comfortable on the couch. As she felt better, she insisted on not bothering the doctor as she believed that she was the best doctor for herself. Now, after almost 5-6 abdominal surgeries her body parts speak for themselves. I still called up the doc to ensure safety and asked her to visit ASAP. Everything was fine, nothing major.

As she narrated the incident to me and Dad we shared a look of how awful and incomplete our lives would be if one of us was lost. She was partially paralyzed. The phone and people where merely inaccessible while they were next door. How horrifying is it to skip a pulse and feel an excruciating pain, a pain of someone squeezing your heart, while you try to make a wish-list of things you have yet not done in your life and cheat death.

I realized, in the dark, to anyone of us, can come a visitor, who knock’s on your door and leaves you petrified for life with the looks he beholds on his face, the face of death.

Recession

2008-12-29T04:49:00.000-08:00

Heard of Recession?
It’s a term used among the corporates to notify that the organization has gone bankrupt and are ready to kick their employees out at any given point in time to instill cost cutting.

Well, the courtesy to delineate the above is for the mere reason that I am the victim of the same.

To begin with, I was working at EnableM technologies for about 5months. This organization is amongst those in the list that were special to me as I planned to stick around for a year to build a profile.
Alas! It was yet another non-fruitful planning.

So here I was, 5 months down the line, at this shabby looking place where the ‘Management (With the word-Management I mean the 3 bosses that head the company, family business, you see.)’, felt ashamed to call the clients over to conduct meetings. It was the place where the sanitary rooms were so disgusting and smelly that the scars of the same can still be pointed on my ass and on my medical bills. It was the place where the Management bribed a classy/ talented/fussy/intelligent damsel-Me (exaggeration**) to work for the company at a good salary and kick right where it hurts the most to throw me out in the most critical times of my life.
To elaborate on the critical times I mean, after waiting for a year, I finally received a lavish Gold Credit Card, which I promised to use only in times of emergency.
And then came my birthday, come on birthdays are emergencies too!!!
So here goes my tempted self for shopping, movies and dinners, in debt of 11000 wonly.

Getting back to Recession, I was tensed, that’s all I can do at this point in time, I thought. But my colleagues and Tarzan had a different perception. Initially, when my boss put forward the idea of kicking me out of the office with a notice period of a week as I was on probation, I thought I was the chosen one (**Aaaa-sound effects). But ‘Hurrah!’ there were Two more of my kind. The designers were kicked out too and the whole department got shut down, I guess. If you are wondering, whatever happened to the boss? My boss is the ‘Management's family member.
Later, as I roll the drums to announce my misery and the unfair practices at work, my colleagues and Tarzan come up with a genius idea to get to the core of the situation. They wanted me to Rebel, ask for the vary reason for the series of unfortunate events in my life to the ‘Management’. The same day as I was working on the master plan to fcuk the company before I leave, I got screwed. I had a terrible fight with Tarzan, no calls from any company for jobs and no bank balance.
Trust me, that sucked, big time!

So, I pick bits & pieces of my broken self and march to the ‘Management’. After 45 minutes of thespian conversation, I realized how vague it was to be there in the first place. But hey, I got a smart deal, I am not paid extra, they asked me to fcuk off in a week’s time and they would still give me an experience letter saying that I was working at the organization, till I find a new job.
I think that’s cool enough.

On the same night I realized what importance can a simple job behold in one's life. As I am young I could easily find a new job soon or take loan from my folks. But some mind-boggling questions that hit me might add fuel to your thoughts as well-

In the process of Recession…
Who is to be held responsible when 1000’s of people loose their job nationwide?
What happens to the people who have lost their only source of income?
Can multinationals package that offers a letter to leave after a month along with 2 months advance salary, be useful to feed the old and young ones in the family for lifelong?
What happens to the illiterates who have lost their jobs at the core level?
How long will it take, in such a scenario, to find a new job?
Will the next company offer the same salary or less?

Think about it!!!

My first gig- Tribute to the beast 8-11-2008

2008-11-23T01:15:00.001-08:00

Listening to Losing My Religion (Graveworm version), I was surfing through the old docs on comp when I came across this poem.
I wrote this poem almost 2years back. The only similarity between those days and now is my quest to discover a meaning to my vary existence. With not even a hint of what lies in the future I wrote this and God gracious it came to life.
I found my identity in a crowd of 350 on 8-11-2008.

Psychedelic Evolution
Moaning through the middle star
I lay awake all day
Screeching my voice in despair
Trying to make it audible to those millions out there
Fell on deaf ears;
Till the time arrived
When my disparity was recognized
As an accent of those who belonged to my commute
I woke up for them;
Gone are the days
When degradation of identity formed a part of my chores
When my dreams and aspirations were as blurred as fog
Smoking away life in ashes
My instruments played on dead strings
I woke up for them;
Academics were stable
Activities were hyper
Future was bright
But my crib lay in darkness,
Those screams of burden and pain
Targeted on my broad shoulders
Till the time I walked out into a new world
I woke up for them;
Compatibility was never an issue
I possessed the caliber to turn miseries into opportunities
And I knew I could win
When I woke up for Myself…
Now its time for you to wake up!!!

This poem to dedicated to an experience of a lifetime at my first gig with Spiked Crib (Smiling Suicide). Now I am a Marketing Professional in day and a Gothic metal vocalist in night and I love both the jobs.
Till then, Stay metal \m/

To them I owe it all…

2008-09-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

If you think that this is just another Thanksgiving note…It’s not!!!

It’s a short (trying) description of the things I owe to the species called “Parents”.
Ok Ok the fact is that as I am broke this month and it’s their 24^th anniversary tomorrow, I can’t afford a gift hence I have opted for a cheaper alternative-Blogging ;)

Refreshing my memory@ 4pm under the delusion of hangover last weekend, I was thinking. This is an activity I usually avoid to undertake but it was the Tequila speaking, not me.
In the dim streetlight that was trying hard to lighten the room through the little space left between the curtains had a very trippy effect on me. From what I remember is that as I theftfully (I know that’s not even a word) opened the door, Dad was right there waiting to pound on me with his words. As I was rescued by mom, I pretended to be tired and was off to bed.
That’s when I turned nostalgic of all the things that we onlook about our parents and act (selfish) accordingly.

Here are some examples, hope you remember-
Age 12- Mom, why don’t you give me pocket money like other parents to eat in the school canteen?
Age 15-Daddy, I am 15, I can use Internet, please give me SPACE to grow.
Age18- It was just a breezer Dad; I am an adult now, stop treating me like a kid.

Didn’t you always think that time was passing by and you had many things to achieve in life?
No one wants to be old. Everyone needs their space, so do your Parents. Maybe they are not cool enough but they were, before they switched to parenthood.

They have spent most of their life in cleaning your SHIT.
SHIT, when you were a stinking baby.
SHIT, when you yapped all those crappy words in your Teens.
SHIT, when you were are an adult (young). You never stood by when they needed you the most.

And here they are today, your parents; awaiting your singe call to say a “Hi” rather than, “Mom, I am not going to be home tonight"

I am not giving you Gyaan. I didn’t follow these crappy things either. But, hey, I am making an effort here. An effort that can help you make someone’s day.
Remember the chapter we read when in 8^th std, I guess. That talks about a simple logic of making 3people happy in a day leading to 3000 gradually. So, as charity begins at home, why not initiate?

I read at least one news piece everyday that talk’s about a Daughter filling a case against her parents. Son killing his parents for money. Parents commit suicide after child slaughtered to death.
Where are we going guys? There should surely be some mannerism/respect/etiquette lectures here.
Of course after Sex education… ;)

Let’s not forget that we all are Indians, renowned worldwide for our culture & tradition. It is scripted in all ancient literature that Parents are next to God. The closer you are to your folks, the dearer to God.

So as a Gift to my Folks on their 24^th Anniversary, all I want to say is “Mom, Dad I love you a lot. And thanks for being there for me”.

**Pssst-After reading this, they are so going to be proud of me. I hope they increase my pocket money. ;)

Peeping through the window...

2008-09-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

My recent on-call thespian conversation with Riya.

Riya: It’s D day and I feel nothing at all.
Me: Good for you. How long was that again?
Riya: About 2 years.
Me: Thank God, good times are back. Bless you.

(Hangup)

Riya speaks…
I was with him for a real long time. If you have heard of first love, that was it. From Beaches to Bed, from Kisses to Sex and from Pills to Pad, I have done it all.
Today is my 6^th year anniversary and he is around with someone else. The last time I saw him was in a wedding with the same girl, I guess, and he didn’t even bother to say a ‘Hi’. I was with Malfoe then and was trying to escape the situation as it seemed to be an only alternative to my guilt. But that didn’t mean a thing to anyone of us.
I smoked after a year leaving everyone astonished. It wasn’t that I quit smoking but was looking for the right moment to begin. I knew that there were going to be no more messages, glances, calls or even reaching out to me anymore. It was thoroughly over. I was in my car with Malfoe and I told him what possessed me for behaving such a creep. He was fine and so was I. I kissed him like never before to show my appreciation for the vary support that he provided to go far away from Kian.
Not knowing that there was someone ready to doubt my worthiness for the sole reason of being in an irresistible relationship for years together.
Weddings always form a reason to celebrate and this one was special for sure. It was the same place where we got married. He was right behind me in the queue for food and we shared glance and ignored simultaneously. It was all happening at the pace of lightening, loud music, Malfoe, Kian with someone else etc. I had no time to think and act. I so wished that the last time we bumped, I would at least give a smile to smoothen things up. This is something I never wanted but he did leaving hard feelings for each other.

I remember his last words…
Kian: Riya, if you ever see me in a crowd will you ignore me or at least say a Hi?
Riya: Of course not, infact I would Hug & Kiss you in the crowd and leave you embarrassed forever.

Sally speaks…
September 15^th 2000.
Doctor: Are you sure you want to do this?
Sally: Yes doctor but I don’t want even the walls to know about this.
Doctor: Keep my word, no one will ever know, we will easily get it out. You are in safe hands, I promise.
Sally: Thank you doc.

At 6:30 in the morning, I am waiting in my car for Zia.
Sally: Come on Zia. How can you be late on such a crucial moment of my life? Did you get cash?
Zia: I don’t have cash but I guess my friend will get it all paid. You can pay it afterwards.
Sally: Thanks a lot Zia. I don’t know what would I have done without you. Let’s make it quick Alley is waiting.
Zia: Why is that jerk coming with us? Why do you need him when I am with you?
Sally: I need him no more but for cash to pay the bills.

I was on anesthesia. I was taken inside the operation theater on a stature. Zia & Alley stood outside@ 7am fighting and cribbing on how each one of them contributed to my miseries.

The operation begins…
Doctor: Are you still awake Sally?
Sally: I need one more dose. Please get it out gently.
Doctor: Worry not; it will hardly take 10min. Are you still awake?
Sally: (No response)

30 minutes later. Abortion successful.

Riya was secretly married to Kian who never returned from a Voyage. We all knew that he is dead but Riya did not believe us. She is happily married to Malfoe but still hallucinates Kian.

Sally is still single and a totally new person after her abortion. She had a bad phase in her life which we all warned about but she preferred being drifted. She had sex without protection and was pregnant with her so called Love- Alley’s child. She made the right decision of getting rid of it and was reincarnated in to a whole new person thereafter.

I speak…
The idea of writing this blog is to disclose a crucial chapter of my best friend’s lives and celebrate for the losses that were incurred on us in the past for good.
Me, Riya and Sally are college friends. According to our recent conversation, we were reviving old memories and disclosing these untold chapters to each other that left an impressive impact on me and gradually prompted me to write a blog on the same. Hope the readers understand the sentiments within and realize that these episodes were just the chapters and not the book.
For me, all I can comment is that our strength is the belief we have in our friendship today and for always…

30 things to do before I am 30

2008-09-16T02:50:00.000-07:00

Tide & Time wait for none. You must have heard this before and so have I but now I believe it. It's not that I am hitting 30 in a couple of years there is long time for that but I need to start planning.
Planning and thinking are my least favorite activities but these are also a secret to successful living. Times swifts from your hands like sand with no residue remaining. It is just the feeling of things that you have done in the past that can be cherished in your memoirs forever.
On a paradox, I can make a list of things that I have done in the past especially the bad ones but I guess this one deserves a blog, lets not dig out corpses and dance on "Thriller" as it might haunt you for the rest of your life.
So read on for the things I intend to do before I am 30, may be I remind you to add some in your bucket list...

Gipsy's ride at Ladakh
Bike trip to the farthest Indian destination in Winter
One trip outside India with my folks
Gift a house to my folks
Hook onto a relationship for at least 3years and get married to the same guy.(hopefully)
Own a SLR
Own a Car
Exhibit my photographs to close friends
Wander like a gypsy at an unknown destination alone
Get at least 5 Tattoos
Behold a H OD position in the biggest Media org
Behold a Royal Class card and Golf club membership
Learn to play guitar(properly) and play at a lounge on a karaoke night
Learn a new Language French
Dance in the middle of the night on a crossing in rains at Mindspace
Cover as many adventure sports as possible
Learn a professional dance form like Salsa
Visit to Kerela Spa
Visit Maldives with my partner
Visit Haridhwar and Laksaman julla
Read as many inspirational and boring books as poss including The secret
Write a book on my life- Being Khyati Bhatia...
Celebrate my birthday on a cruise
Visit Osho Ashram
Learn to cook multiple cuisines
Drive my car to the longest destination with friends
Visit as many concerts as poss
Click as many snaps of me as poss to show my generation
Try to send mum to a Silent Ashram for a Day (Thats a task)
Send dad to No-Smoking rehab

Warning: In the future I might alter any of the above listed or add/ delete info as and when required.

In Loop....

2008-07-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

Came across an old friend’s blog initiating an idea of writing a new article in my blog after a long time. Also, didn't really have much to do on a Saturday morning at office. Hence, keeping the readers in loop with the events that surpassed me in the last couple of months...
To begin with, my music taste has changed. I am tripping on Pantera, now a days. I started liking Opeth, can you beat that...!
I remember those days, when I use to roam with Baba yapping about Pantera and I was clueless about it. Now I know in and out of Pantera but he ain’t around to flaunt my knowledge. Got a new friend too, who turned out to be more than what I thought (Tarzan). You know what I mean, don't you...? Got a source of Extra income, thanks to Tarzan, now can I efficiently pay all my shopping bills.
Well, let’s hop on to my favorite topic, My job. I Hate My Job. I know its real kool to organize international concerts but Hell yeah...It Sucks! It’s been almost a year I have stuck my ass at one job, in the name of creating a profile for my resume but the talent that I possess is just not worth it. Let me clarify, I ain't aggrandizing my caliber, but I deserve a lot more than I currently own. Like more money, better designation, SOL and privileges at work. My folks and Tarzan tell me I am very materialistic but asking for a better job which pays better salary which will ultimately result in better SOL is the basic need of any social animal in an expensive society where wants rise at the pace of waves and income to fulfill those wants at the pace of river water currents. Hey, that’s hell of a definition...No wonder I am a content writer. So the consensus is that I am looking for a new job in the same (media) industry.
As far as my social life is concerned, man is a social animal and if you still don't get it look at me! I visited to a lot of lavish places lately. I love such places as they help you to be elite and classy; no matter you drown in debts under your credit card bills.
Ummm......My best friend ultimately got intimate and had 3 Letter forbidden word that starts with S and ends with X. I know it’s a difficult guess, but I intend to keep the secret. I remember a very imp incident that needs some attention here. My mum caught me smoking. So now even if I don't smoke I still Do for her. I had visualized this incident long back when she caught me first time with a Marlboro in my bag and I said I found it in a First Class Ladies Compartment. But hey, bad times always return don't they...
Nothing much, I spare you, don’t intend to bore you anymore...Keep rocking and don't forget to enjoy monsoons especially at Zoo Bitch.. lolz

Rail Track

2008-04-08T00:40:00.000-07:00

“O Shucks! I missed it again.” This is the mantra I chant every morning, when I miss my local train. Life in a chirpy city of Mumbai starts on a Local train and ends on one too. Every morning the same old routine with a twist is an average mumbaikars life. Today morning was Almost the same. Well, to bring to your notice before I began RailTrack aint a murder mystery, a bomb-blast story or a Love on Railgadi scenario. It’s merely about the connection between me and the Railways. Western railways to be precise.
Twisting and turning all night to gain some sleep with the weird noises created in my neighborhood, simply reminds me of a Monster Inc. And when about to sleep, the alarm rings and I switch it off with a 5Minute reminder, which goes on forever, until my mum kicks on my Bum. With those sleepy eyes I moan in my misery cursing the one who wrote in Vedas to take shower every morning. Still, with sleepy eyes I dress, gulp down a glass of Tang and head for the BEST. Waiting in a queue on a Monday morning, everybody seems so vivacious except me. I board the Bus scratching through the crowd for that one left out; unseen ladies seat….until some fat-ass took over it.
Did I mention, I have a problem of imagination? Well, I end up thinking that me and her are in the ring like sumo-wrestlers and in the center is the seat-(sound effect-aaaaaaa- with a flashlight on the seat). We are just about to begin the fight, when I experience a jerk and a Ting-Ting along with a call-out that says-“Borivali Station” I get down and look at my cell-10:30am. Goddamit! I am late again! I run through the screeching traffic and the railway crowd. The TC’s at borivli station are very fond of me. They never miss a chance to catch hold of me. I have tried many a times to discover the similarities between me and Osama Bin Laden’s face, but fortunately found none, I wonder what are the TC’s looking out for.
I hear the booger and the train is about to leave, my 10:36 local. I run fast and faster to reach the ladies compartment, surpassing all the onlookers, bypassers, commentators, comics and the bitches. The train begins to speed-up and I continue running, thinking at the same time-M I growing fat that I can’t catch a train or is it’s just not my destiny and God wants me to get a window seat in the next one. Sounds stupid I know, but that’s what I think when I am sleepy. The train leaves the platform without me.
I try to escape the comics and the bitches and find a throne in the corner. I take out my cell-phone and call office to inform. They barge at me like a laughing hyna waiting to prey a goat. I am sad and wish if only if I was one of those dabbawalas would have got the guts and company to board me in the local under any circumstances. Talking about the dabbalwals, they are the ideal specimen of a perfect organization world-wide. Dayum! My organization would never reach those heights. I mean, I work for someone who sells tickets (lol). I feel like a Black ka Maal guy standing outside cinema halls to woo the crowd to buy tickets from him. Well, my business is almost the same, I come up with offers and discounts to woo the crowd onto my website from varied mediator streams to book tickets at a so-called discounted price-O Poor Fools, I smirk in my monstrous abyss.
Suddenly I realize my smirk turned into a gruesome laughter, and trust me it is pretty scary. I call my best buddy to escape the embrace of embarrassment. The next train arrives the station and I pick my bits and pieces heading towards the ladies compartment. While I yap on the phone my eyes meet this cute guy who smiles looking at my t-shirt that says-“My Chemical Romance”. I understand his intentions to walk up to me with a common topic of discussion-Muzzak. He is moving towards me and I am still smiling (This aint a DDLJ scene). But as he moves closer, I feel the distance increasing, till someone calls-out for me-“Abe Maregi Kya Latak ke” and I realize the train has departed. Well, that’s all for Rail track, the rest is history as I fall asleep in the train and work my ass of in the office, thinking about the GUY…..ummmmmm