Painfully sensual

It was getting as deep and annoying as it could in the relationship. The pain you feel when you work-out with heavy weights, each strand of your hair hurts with the pleasure of getting in shape. After a while of being in a relationship, you feel like a fool who fell for the fouls of your partner when he was glittering new.
He was a gift sent only for me and no one to share with for the rest of eternity. Eternity wasn’t far away till the charisma was dusted with the Local train travel, Jhunka-bhakar lunch and I am broke this month syndrome. Friends said that the ‘Spark’ is lost after a couple of years but I found it diminishing with each fight each day. Till the day, I met him after a brutal fight, with no intentions to sort things out; we virtually tried with attempts in vain and travelled home together in a local train.

I was waiting at the station with him. The ladies compartment passed by and I was confused on the chaotic platform to get in the same train or leave it. He was all geared to barge in the Gents compartment and I sheepishly followed his lead. He made me rest on the bars near the entrance. As the train started the wind blew my hair and I met his gaze. We immediately looked in different directions. For a few stations I was embarrassed to look up at him. He touched my forehead to check if I was well. The warm touch sent shivers down the spine of my cold body. My eyes were glued to the moving ground with 10billion random thoughts running wild in my head. Suddenly, I felt a jerk. The train halt with the crowd over him. I felt his warm chest on me, I skipped a beat. Swiftly, to get a grip, he holds the bar behind my neck. With the train in motion, I feel his arm brushing gently on my neck, so soothing so caressing. It was herb gently curing my wounds. I adjusted myself to rest on his arm and closed my eyes. I couldn’t hear a chirp through my voyage to dreamland. The chaotic compartment calmed in a mystical way to get us together. It was so beautiful. After a while, I felt his hands in motion. He rolled his resting arm around my shoulder with his finger tips tracing them. Each touch made me crave for some more. He moved closer and I looked up in his eyes. The divine burning gold. I felt a sudden rush of emotions running through my nerves, I had goose bumps. I wanted to cry, laugh, hold him, and kiss him at the very same moment. It was just so beautiful. The train jerked again and I heard him making an attempt to ignite a conversation to get out of the embarrassment. The hesitation was as noticeable as for the first time he tried to talk to me. The same boyish features in a man I loved. As he spoke, I don’t remember what was it, but I tried to stay in my senses as much as I could. I replied with some-‘hmmm’, ‘aha’ and ‘ok’. I could easily notice with each word he was trying to look at my face from the corner of his eyes as the wind blew my hair. Slowly he removed his rolled arm and walked ahead of me. My savoir, the way he walked ahead of me during Iron Maiden Gig. I gathered my wit to talk to him. I was wondering if this is the same guy I love from the past 2yrs. I heartily wanted him to drop me home but practically that will be stupid. Hence I played with my words and asked him not to get down of the train for me. He simply said, ‘You’re mad o wat, I am not getting down!”. Ouch!!! That hurt.

I got down of the train and turned around to look at him and wave him goodbye at midnight with all my wittiest emoticons. The train didn’t start. Now it was turning to be awkward. He kept whispering and I could read his perfectly shaped pink lips ‘go home’. I interpret it the way I wanted, ‘stay here’. The train blew a horn and was set in motion, he smiled at me. Ooh the melting smile. I couldn’t resist and smiled back, attitude maintained. I ran to the stairs to catch a last glimpse, waiting and wanting him to turn. He did not.